Fomeh

On marriage or not.

A  Facebook friend is arguing with me on this. I tell him that there are girls who do NOT want commitment, only sex and fun. He does not believe me. My friends Lola, Mo, and I know of at least one person. This lady that we all know, I had jisted Lola about her. All she wants is sex and clubbing. She is a lone parent. At a point, she actually sent her child to Nigeria under the guise of being able to work longer hours. She did not work any hours, talk less of longer hours. She was on benefits, clubbing and sexing. She met a guy who was crazy about her. They both come from the same part of Naija but this girl was NOT interested in marriage. I spoke to her taya. I pleaded with her taya to give the guy a chance. She said no. After a while, the guy had to go. Lola did not believe me when I jisted her.

A few months later, Lola met someone. The guy was going through her album when the guy saw that girl’s picture. A few weeks earlier, before he saw the girl’s picture in Lola’s album, he had told Lola of his heartbreak in being with a girl who no matter how much he loved her, would just not commit. All she wanted was sex, sex and more sex! No commitment from her. Lola did not believe him. So, when he saw the girl’s picture in Lola’s album, he was shocked because he had not told Lola the girl’s name. He then told Lola that that was his ex-girlfriend that he had told her about.

And no, this Lola’s friend is NOT the same man from her town that wanted to marry her, this is a totally different man. This lady might seem like a one off but I suspect there might be a lot of women like this who just don’t have the courage to admit to men that all they want is sex, incase the man thinks they are cheap.

This thing called marriage sef that a lot of Naija men run away from and pretend they are running towards, no be you guys e dey benefit more? If not for society that makes a girl think that she has to marry, marriage actually favours men more than it favours women. Especially when the man comes up with that ‘ you are not submissive’ sheet. And that ‘I want to mould you into what a wife should be’ sheet.

I suspect that a lot of women, more women than would care to admit would actually rather have a stable relationship where the man has his own place and she has her own place and when the need for companionship arises, they spend time together and when they get the need for solitude, they each go back to their separate spaces.

Trust me, women desire independence and solitude too. So, mek una no dey form for us abeg. You are not the only gender that likes independence.

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