Bohboh

My friend the bohboh major.

I have this friend who can bohboh for Africa. Actually, I used to have this friend. I got tired of her sheet and blocked her from Facebook and my life. She could lie for Africa! Very unnecessary bohbohs too. She would lie about anything and everything without you even asking her questions about anything. Shebi if you asked her a question and she lied, it could be said that you pushed her to a tight corner abi?

 

I remember once, she came to work saying she and her husband were selling their flat so they could get a bigger place – a house. She said they were finding it difficult getting a buyer. Unfortunately for her, one of the people in the group was into property. This my lie lie friend did not know. She thought it was just the regular customer service job that we were all doing that this other lady was doing. The other lady asked her how much they were sellinv it. My lielie friend stated a figure that was waaaay below the value of a flat in that part of London. North London is expensive you see. Na im the other friend got excited, saying she would buy it seeing a chance to make cool profit. Unknown to the property lady, my lielie friend and her husband were renting. Anyway, my lielie friend quickly said they had gotten a buyer.

 

She would tell us that her husband was a high flying manager. Till one day when she broke down under the strain of being the income earner while the man did nought. He was a loafer. She cried that day ehn? She was tired of this man refusing to work. Even odu sef that his friends were doing, he refused to do. But a few days later, she regained her composure and went back to lieing.

 

Then her love for mysoginy ehn? Is on another level! Oh my! She once told me that whenever they travel as a family, her husband went first class while she and the kids traveled economy so as to not disturb and embarrass him amongst fellow first class travellers. Man wey no work o. She had forgotten that I knew the man was not working and that she was the income earner. Even if the man was the income earner, how does that even make sense? That the fa

 

When I went into Information Technology as a Software Tester some 10 years ago, she asked me if I could help her husband get a job as a Tester. But she had told me before that her husband wa a chattered accountant and managing the Finance department of  major company so, why would he want to start from the bottom in IT? She said I should not mind. Anyway, I treid my best for the guy, but e no get any job. My friend laetr cam and told me that he had been promoted to director of Finance in the company. Ok. Congratulations I said. A few years later, when I made the move to Project management, she asked me again to help him get a job as a PM. I did not even bother asking her any question. I yinmu in my mind.

 

When we were doing our A Levels and doing JAMB, she it was that while the rest of us were waiting to get admission, she had supposedly gotten admition to no less than THREE unis and was trying to decide which was the best for her. She later claimed to be going to study Law at a federal Uni. When I got to Unijos and saw people from her Uni, I asked after her. It took a while for them to know who I was talking about. Why? She was studying History. Not Law. Then, when we met up in London years later (she was finally now doing the Law she claimed to have done some years before in Naija), she told me her husband was doing his second degree. I later found out that the guy no even get first degree talk less of second. When she moved back to Naija, she told us they had bought a house in VGC. Another lie.

A couple of years ago, she was regaling me with tales of how whenever she goes to Hong Kong, she takes a taxi to China to eat authentic Chinese food. I just smiled at her and yinmud in my mind.  And there was a time she did her Facebook profile to say that she was in Nicaragua. Idiot me that did not then know that those locations could be manually edited bought her story of being in Nicaragua as the Counsel of the Nigerian government in case against the Nicaraguan government. Person wey no practice Law. In her mind, she thinks that all of us her friends,  think she is a high flying business woman cum lawyer. But what she does not know is that she is the butt of jokes amongst us her friends.

 

My friend the bobo major. Ah… I wonder what lie she is cooking up now?

 

 

This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Aunty.B. I tire for these lie lie people o. There’s a neighbour of mine that can also lie for Africa ehn. A won eleyi le pa iro ki oku ji. Hmm, where do I want to begin I lies from, okay the one that really pissed me off was a day we were all gisting about airlines. Na so she open her mouth and said she flew British Airways from Lagos to Abuja. Na so I just grab my phone start to play game cos I don’t even know what to say. or when she said her father was an Aeronautics Engineer of which her hubby once told us that her was a cleaner @ airport. oga gan o.

  2. This one no be friend, n.a. acquaintance. Nonsense. It’s a good thing you blocked her, as she seem to always want what you have! Instead of rejoicing with you. And rather than seek help, she’s constantly deluding herself, probably believing it too. Igbeyin lo ndun oloku ada ( literally…. it’s nightfall that the farmer with a blunt cutlass realises their folly) . I hope she’ll wake up yo her own realities soon, rather than deluding herself.

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