I remember how my mum disgraced me at the first real party I was invited to. Tobi is 13 and is going to a party tomorrow and I am going to let him have fun. Not so my late mum for me. My first real party happened when I was around 14. The guy doing the party was relocating to America for his Uni and he was the area lotahrio. He was actually toasting me and I felt honoured to even be considered worthy of him wanting to associate with me. Of course, I did not tell my mum that he was toasting me. Who born me? I just told her that my friend’s brother was having a party. I was not too far from the truth. His sister was on the ‘hello hello’ basis with me but e no matter. For this occasion, she was my friend, could even be my best friend if need be sef. The party was to start around 7 or so and to finish around midnight. I had heard that funky people arrive late to parties so, I wanted to arrive at 9. Who die? My mum made sure that I left home in time to get to the party for 7pm. Kai! And I was to leave at 9pm. Double kai! Just when the funky people would be arriving.
Anyway, she made sure that t
he maigardi followed me there so that he would know where the party was. I got to the party and was the first person there. Oh no! The food was not yet ready and the DJ was just setting up the deck. I however felt honoured to be there before the others. Soon enough, the girlfriends arrived and started a sort of ‘p:iss:ing’ round him. The way animals mark their territory. I was there at the side-lines thinking should I join? Should I not join? Before I could make my mind up either which way, just when the funky people started trooping in, I was told that my mum was waiting for me at the gate. She came with the maigardi and was waiting at the gate of the party. Oh the shame!
Fast forward to about 7 years later, on my 21st birthday. I had a party in my house and I invited my friends from Uni. The food was there, the music was there, my dad was not at home. Oya Mummy, come and begin to go out please. My mum said she was not going anywhere. She was staying in to make sure that we did not get up to no good. Oh dear Lord! Ok Mummy. Shey you will stay in your room? My mum said no. She was staying in the sitting room. So, my mum sat there in the sitting room. Of course, my friends could not relax. We hoped that she would get tired soon and go upstairs but what did my mum do instead? She started sleeping and snoring. And you know how it is when you are sleeping and your head is thrown back on the back of the seat, your mouth hangs open? My mum’s mouth hung open. I. Was. So. Embarrassed!
I woke her and kept begging her to go to her room. But she insisted on sitting downstairs and waiting till everyone had gone. By 9.30, people had finished going. They got tired of waiting. And that was how my party finished at 9.30. Then my mum got up and went to her room. I tell you, I hated her for a while. She messed up my street cred no be small.