On Vanity and Me

One of my middle names might as well be vanity. I have ‘idodo’ – what is called a hernia. Every time I have had to take off my clothes for my doctors, even though it is never about my hernia, they say to me ‘you know, Miss Ajai, you could have that hernia operated on. It’s a simple op’. And I always respond ‘I don’t want to. I don’t want unnecessary surgery’. When I was younger, it used to be smaller if I was hungry or had lost weight, but would become convex like an angry man if I overate or put in weight. But for a couple of years now, it has been permanently convex. I attributed that to the fibroid getting bigger and when I decided to have the fibroid sorted, I assumed that the hernia would go down again. I have had the embolization done, my tummy is getting smaller (YAY!), while it looked that a 6 month pregnancy before, it now looks like a 4 month pregnancy. But the hernia has not gone down. It is still convex. And it constantly gives me belly ache and sometimes, feels like there are worms struggling for space in there. So, now, I am considering having that hernia op (that I have resisted for more than 15 years) done now.

Before I stopped wearing earrings more than 20 years ago, I had had 3 holes pierced in my ear. So, I used to wear at least 2 earrings. Then suddenly, I just stopped wearing them. Just like that. I just felt they were not necessary. I love jewellery but I just did not think that earrings change the way I look, especially as I could not see them except I looked in a mirror. People thought I was a member of the S.U but no, I’m not. People would be confused because the no earring look is associated with S.U members but I did not dress like a S.U member. I wore trousers, make up and so on. My family and friends eventually got fed up asking me and accepted it. But now, in my 40s, I am suddenly thinking of wearing earring again. And not descreet pearls o. I want to wear huge hoops. Lol. How is that for a turn around?

And nose rings too. I have always wanted to wear nose rings but I was not sure if my nose was aquiline enough. I have the Ajai aquiline nose but I’m not sure it is aquiline enough. Thankfully, I did not inherit my Mum’s nose. My sisters, Bukola and Yemisi pulled the short (literally and metaphorically) straw on that. They both have  small unpointed noses. And my late sister, Seun as well. Short noses. But, me, Funmlayo and Dupeola got lucky in the nose department. But now, I actually don’t care if my nose is aquiline enough. There’s something about ageing that makes you care less about appearances and what people think of yours. One day, a few months ago, on an outing with Tobi, I was suddenly gripped with a strong desire to pierce my nose. I called Lawyerman at work to tell him that I wanted to pierce my nose and he told me that if it made me happy, to go ahead. I searched and searched for a saloon where I could pierce my nose but could not find any that day. I am suddenly wanting to do it again.

Perhaps I should go the whole hog. Like this.

Perhaps I should go the whole hog. Like this.

And I want to do liposuction too. As soon as I have spare money, I will lipo the excess fat from my tummy, my thighs, and possibly my bum as well. And oh! My bingo wings too. I am a Christian and I am a mother, but I do not want Christian mother arms.

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Lol……
    Yaay for the earrings….beep me whenever you are in London, we will go shopping.
    But that big ass nose ring though,imagine the pain if someone snatched that off your nose ?????

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