Jopa’s person, Chi, would like advice from fellow Jopa’s people. Kindly advice her without insulting her. Cheers.
Good morning, Ma. Please I need your advice on this issue. 8years ago, I met a man in my school, he came for a church program. we met and introduced ourselves, we finally got into a relationship that lasted for 2months before we got married 28th February,2009.
I was in my ND 2( national diploma final), I was in first semester, he stopped me from finishing at polytechnic. He said that polytechnic is not a better place to school, he started calling it polythene bag. He is a lecturer at university of Uyo. When I met him, he was doing his masters at FUTO Owerri
I was very angry for not allowing me to finish my national diploma, I didn’t sat for first semester exam, I complained to my parents, he was invited. My parents asked him the reason because he promised to them that I will finish my education. He told my parents that he wants me to continue at the university of Uyo which I wasn’t comfortable with. I told my parents, I want to have my ND certificate, it will help me gain direct entry to any of the universities which I will start from 200 level.
He insisted that I will not go back to school. My parents told me to find a way to complete my education. I was 7 months pregnant, I have not bought anything for my labour. Then, he was financial broke. My mum gave me about 25 baby napkins and some baby wears. One day, the man gave me N10,000 to buy baby stuffs, I told him it will not be enough, he said I should used prudently, that was the word he used.
The hospital gave me the list of things to buy. I came to my mum to assist me buy the things in the market. She told me that she was sick but she will help, she said me how much the man gave me, I told her #10,000. She was like, what will the money buy?
I told him it won’t be enough
My mum said we will buy the most necessary things needed at the hospital. We went into the market, she also added her own money too. when I came in the evening, the first question he asked was where is the baby hanger and bathing plastics.
I told him to check the necessary things I bought, he didn’t ask me about the things I bought till I was put to bed. He went out that evening, and told one of his friends, that the money he gave to buy things, I gave it to my mum. My mum heard it from the person he told and he refused to come to my parents.
I forced him to apologize to my parents, which he did. We quarry each time because of my education, he told me if I leave him that he will get marry in two months.
He also accused me of still searching for a husband while am married to him, just because one of Exes, called me on phone that finally he made it outside the country, I have knew it was him because then I had no friend outside country, I was surprise when the call came to my phone.
On 20th June, 2009 by 3:am, my daughter was brought out to see the world. She weighed 4kg. It was through normal delivery. By 6:am, one of nurses told my mum to bathed me, I was took inside the bathroom, I collapsed, my mum said I was dead, I wasn’t breathing, I was very heavy. My mum was shouting for help, the man refused to help her and he was very close to the bathroom, immediately he saw the nurse coming he pretended to offer a helping hand. I never knew what happened till I surprising found myself lying on the bed because I knew I was in the bathroom.
On 21st June, 2009, I was about to be discharged, the man told my mum that he will drop me at my parents place, she asked why, he told her that his parents will not contain I and baby because of space. I gave birth at Aba but we leaved at Uyo then. My mum told him that the child will first see his paternal grand parents before going any where since they are living in the same city.
MA, if not for God and my parents, I could’ve been dead by now. He went around telling people I left him, he also said that my parents took me away from him. He said a lot of things against me and my family. Went round telling people that it serves me right going the pains of having big baby. After a week of giving birth, I was abounded, no food to eat, his child became sick, he never cared, I heard heavy bleeding, he never cared. My parents took all his responsibility, I lost my memory, I was tempted to start smoking but I over came it. Emotionally, I was Devastated. I was left with nothing not ever a Kobe, I was living by the mercy of my parents and one of uncles. I found myself drink alcohol. Three months later, he came back to pick us back to uyo, I refused. I left him to school to summit a letter to the school to accept me back to sit for my first and second semester exams. When I came back, my parents told me, he was asked to come with his mum. We didn’t see him again. After 2years of our separation, my parents returned the Bride price to them, to free me to remarry. 2010, he got married to another lady and until now they don’t have any child. 2014, he called me that he was to know his child and the child will know him too. I changed my number because of him. Since 2014, he has been disturbing my family, he doesn’t have my number again. Late 2015 and 2016, his demanded now is for us to get back me again. He wants to have access to the child he abandoned and rejected, the child he never cared for. He wants us back because his current wife has not giving him any child.
MA, I wrote all this for you to know what I went through at the age of 20, I am now 28years and daughter is 8years. The marriage drew me backward in education, finance and business. Am still struggle to survive Give me your advice as a mother talking to her daughter. You can ask your followers too