Monitoring Spirit

Love should make you free.

‘A piece of NAC’ is our guest author on the post. And it is a heart-warming true story of escape and of freedom

As narrated by a dear friend.

So I had this boyfriend that was part of my waking dream,social life, career goals and all, he practically spied on my every move. I have to make sure I was wih my phone all the time so I didn’t miss his call. If I did then, I would have to plead and explain how on earth I missed his call, if he saw me talking with a guy in as little as giving direction to a stranger, he would call me names, tell me how I  was such a flirt and a sex freak and all, he practically made everything about me feel wrong. I never let my guard down for anything at all even if he was not around, because he owned me. Men are never allowed to speak with me,By all means avoid sharing a smile with a guy, or even laughing at a joke from his own male friends, he manages to know my every move. He was a real monitoring spirit from the pit of he’ll. And please, don’t you dare question him about any girl, his classic answer is always, I don’t have time for girls and their stupidity. So don’t bother its just you I can manage.

So on this very interesting day, my boyfriend and I went to see a movie, while he dropped me upfront to wait at the entrance while he went to find a spot to park. I met an old friend, in short we used to play those mummy and daddy kind of play as kids. We were really close, till he left for the States while we were teenagers, because we moved house then, I didn’t see him ever again. Strange to think we could meet again after a very long time. He was super excited and wanted to hug me, I was excited too, but I was too scared to hug back, I just casually told him, common you stranger, let’s do the handshake  joor, we can save hugs for later, he held my head in a playful way telling me, how so different I have become and all, I just smiled and said, ‘haa we are all doing some growing up and we are evolving’, meanwhile I was trying to find a way to discharge him fast before my boyfriend showed up, but here he was wanting to catch up on old time, really interested in knowing what I’ve been up-to and all. I just told him, give me your number, and I will call you. The bad thing is, I didn’t want him to have my number, because I didn’t want him to call when my boyfriend might be around. I was too scared to let him see us. Just as he was reeling out his number to me, my boyfriend walked towards us, on hearing him call out his number, he just told me, hope he is paying for your movies and there after taking you home, I’m not here for this, and he turned and left me standing there. I was gonna run after him, but my friend, held my hand, looked me in the eyes and said… no dear, you deserve better than this jerk, come let’s go somewhere and talk and he held me there while all I could just do was cry.

I didn’t marry my childhood friend, No we didn’t even date, he was already engaged  to a very sweet lady, but he taught me how to love myself above all, he taught me to ask and demand for better, he helped me realise that I deserve better and can get better. I am currently seeing someone, and I met him through the fiancee of my childhood friend. Now I know what relationship is, its about love and trust and freedom, love shouldn’t control one, stifle one’s freedom and take away one’s voice. Love should make you free.
Glad I could say goodbye to a monitoring spirit.

This Post Has 19 Comments


  2. Sis this is soo me but in my case I am married to the monitoring spirit. I won’t lie dere are times I just wish I could just die and end everything. I am not happy, I am not even sure of myself. And dats de exact name I call him and he knows.

    1. Sis, please in God’s name, try to find yourself again. Make yourself happy. Open lines of communication to let him know how you are affected by his actions. I wish you all the best.

  3. Beautiful story!!! I really thought it was going to finish like the everyday nollywood yoruba movies.. lol.. i’m glad she left the monitoring spirit, this is one major sign of domestic violence. The guy would end up beating her everyday as soon as they are married. Thanks Aunty for sharing this.

  4. Jopa’s Daughter, it’s either you are after my heart or I’m after yours. For once, I get that person that can relate to life situations the way I do. Thanks so much.
    I actually call them monitoring spirit too and I’ve experienced one too

  5. Sometimes all you need is someone to teach you to love yourself then you realise you never actually knew what you wanted in a life partner. Your whole perception changes.Self love is highly detoxifying.

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