Lawyerman stopped smoking about 15 years ago. And me? I started smoking about 5 years ago. I am however not a chain smoker. I am not even a social smoker. More like a sen:su:al smoker. I have smoked about 6 sticks so far this year. I have never smoked when that kids are at home. In fact, the only time that I smoke is when it is just Lawyerman and I are at home alone. You see, smoking for me is a luxurious secret indulgence. And that is why I could never do it when the kids are around. I make a real event of it.
I think my smoking started with the worsening of the Pica that I had as a result of anaemia. I developed Pica which I was able to manage when I was pregnant with Tobi but it got worse some 3 years ago when I started getting low iron level in my blood. I developed a craving for dust. I tried so hard to get dust to lick that I even bought clay online. The online clay seems to have been deodorised and doesn’t smell dusty. Oh how I love the smell of the first rain on parched land after a long drought! It is simply heavenly. But it is very faint scent. I needed a stronger fix so, I thought, why not smoke?
As much as I love my kids and having them around, I do love it when they are not around, probably because it is not often that Lawyerman and I get to have the whole place to ourselves. When Tobi is going away, is when I do my smoking routine. I have a pack of St Moritz that I bought this year and which I have not finished. I buy a bottle of good quality port. I don’t drink much so, when I do decide to drink, I don’t scrimp on the quality. I noticed that I always wake up with a headache whenever I drink cheap plunk. I think I am only cut out for the finer things in life. Can’t be doing cheap alcohol. When I know I will be smoking, first, I go to Marks and Spencer to buy myself some chocolate cheesecake. Lawyerman does not have a sweet tooth like me so, for him, I make some fried beef.
The morning Tobi is due to go away, I start sending numerous text messages to Lawyerman at work about how much fun he will be having later the day. I tell him of the naughty things we are going to get up to with the kids not being at home. I make some not too heavy food like jollof rice and maybe some Naija salad for when he gets back. I slip into something comfortable. Sometimes, I even do the local Yoruba style and just wrap an iro round my chest. Lol. Local Yoruba tinz.
Tobi would have gone away by the time Lawyerman gets home. We eat the jollof rice and Naija salad, then we proceed to the room and put the smart TV on Youtube. We luuuurve Yoruba films. Yoruba films are our guilty pleasure. It is at this point that I bring out the port and cheesecake and fried beef. So, we eat in front of the TV watching Youtube. Then we just generally clown around. And oh! Yes. I almost forgot. We share two or three cigarettes.