RUBBISH THAT NEEDS TO STOP IN 2017.
PARENTS (MOTHERS SPECIFICALLY) FORCING THEIR CHILDREN ON IN ABUSIVE SITUATIONS.
A lady was confused and needed advice. A woman who lives in England came to Nigeria on holidays and saw this young lady. She introduced her to her son in England saying she would like her son to marry this lady as she does not like the type of girls her son keeps dating in England. So, the girl in Naija has been dating this England boy for a couple of years but the boy keeps asking her for her n:uu;de pishur. The girl always refuses. The boy has never sent the girl a dime. After two years, the lady in Nigeria breaks up with the guy in England. They have never even seen each other before. The lady’s mother tells the lady to go back and reconcile with the boy. Apparently, some prophet has said that the boy is the daughter’s husband.
A lady is confused and needs advice. She has been living with her luurverr for a few years and the luurverr keeps faffing around regarding putting a ring on it. So, she moves back to her mum’s. Her mum keeps telling her to go back to her husband. What husband? They were live in luurverrs. But that little fact is being overlooked by the mum. The lady in question is understandably distressed. Should she stay with her mum who keeps making her uncomfortable or should she go back to her live in lover who makes her comfortable but keeps faffing around regarding marriage?
A gentle man is unhapilly married. He is facing emotional abuse in his marriage and he tries to make the marriage work but it is not working. His wife is his boss at work and she sometimes humiliates him at work and also brings the ‘I am the oga’ attitude home. He is always unhappy and he confides in his mum, telling her that he wants to file for a divorce. His mum tells him to not even think about. He should stay on in the marriage. Does he not know that people will talk? See, for her, her concern was not so much for her son’s wellbeing as for her concern about what people would say.
When my late sister, Seun was having marital issues and the husband went AWOL for months, she did not want to tell my dad as she knew the kain papa wey she been get. Anyway, shebi as Yorubas say, ‘oro ti a ni ki baba ma gbo, baba na ni o ma wa pari e? The tok wey we say mek papa no hear, na papa go setu am laslas Abi? JOPA heard and asked the son in law to come for a meeting, twice. On both occasions, the guy promised to come but did not turn up. What did JOPA do? He sent his other daughters, Seun’s younger sisters with the driver to go and bring Seun and her stuff back home. The son in law was shocked. He expected that my dad would beg him and tell his daughter to stay on there. JOPA don’t got time for dat! The son in law kept saying he had never seen a situation where a man takes his own daughter out of her marriage, presenting himself as the aggrieved one.
The main perpetrators of women staying on in abuse are fellow women. Mothers!!!! Please, support your children in leaving abuse. Please. I beg you.
GUYS MAKING GIRLS DO THE DIRTY WORK OF BREAKING UP.
Please, why is it that Nigerian guys don’t like to break up with a woman when they know that they don’t want to be with her? Ehn? From my experience, the only thing that would make a Naija guy break up with a woman is if she was caught with another man on top of her. Save that, when a Naija man is tired of a woman or already knows that he has no plans for the future of the relationship, what does he do? Tell the lady that he would like to end the relationship? Lol. Ez like you don’t use to know Naija men? Nooooo. Hian. A Naija man will be sleeping w:ith two (or even worse, more) women, knowing which one of them he wants to marry. So, you would think that he would break off with the one he knows that he does not want to marry? Nope. He will just continue to misbehave and be ‘fff:ingggge:rrring her brain’ sotaaaaayyyy! Then the one he knows he does not want to marry will finally get the message and get tired of the excuses and break off the relationship. But the Naija guy will make her feel like she has destroyed a ‘good thing’. He will continue to do that so that she will be receptive to those b-o’oty calls that he will make periodically when he gets tired of eating egusi soup everyday. Naija men, abeg na, be like Oyinbo men. If you no wan do again, say something like ‘ I have met and fallen in love with someone else. I want to be with them. I am sorry but I have to break this relationship up. I am sorry’ Yank that plaster off already. OUCH! S’ON:OFA FF:FFFEECKIN: BIIII:SSHH!!! It will hurt but we will heal faster. Thank you.
DISRESPECTING SINGLE WOMEN JUST BECAUSE.
A friend of mine came to the UK for her Masters and went back immediately to resume a new role in Naija. When she got back to Naija, she had a particular male boss who was a bit on the misogynistic side. He would forever talk down at her. When they went on of official outings, he would do things like tell the driver to stop, then he would ask her to go and buy him boli from the boli woman by the road. Or in the office, he would leave the boy Friday and send her instead to go and buy him meat pie from the eatery. At first she would complain or refuse but she realised that when she did that, the man would then give her impossible tasks very late to the deadline so, she just choose her battles and stopped to conquer. She just went on the rubbish errands mutely. Then she got married and the first day back at work after her wedding, she said she could have sworn that people sat up when she entered. They started calling her ‘madam’. Like joke like joke o, no one was calling her by her name anymore. Her name was now ‘Madam’ And the slightly misogynistic boss, he not only called her ‘Madam’ as well, he has also not sent her on those ‘ise eru’ – slave errands anymore.
Nigerians, biko. Stop disrespecting single girl just because. Respect everyone because they deserve it regardless of their marital status mbok.