To some of you young Naija men wanting to come to the abroad, I am talking to the ones thinking that the abroad girls are cheap, this is a warning. In the abroad, rape is taken seriously unlike the case in Nigeria. In the abroad, if a woman says no, it not yes in disguise. Please don’t think that she is wanting it but forming good girl. The locus classicus of a principle iDS’Mex_ual offences in Criminal law in England involves a Nigerian. R v OLUGBOJA is the name of the case. The facts of the case regard a Nigerian taxi driver who gave two teenage girls a ride home from the disco. Instead of taking them to their homes, he diverted instead and took them to his own home. And proceeded to rape them. What was his defence? That the girls did not struggle when he was having s-e_x with them so that meant they consented to the acts. NOPE! Said the courts. That they did not struggle does not mean they consented. They were paralysed with fear. You had refused to take them home and had instead taken them to your own home. The feared for their lives and did what they thought they had to do to stay alive. LACK OF STRUGGLE DOES NOT MEAN CONSENT. Please don’t just take my word for it. Google it.
Some 15 years ago, in our local newspaper in Thurrock, there was news that a man had been convicted of rape. He was a Nigerian man who had only just arrived ilu oyinbo a few months before. He went out on a date with this white girl and after the date, raped her. The girl had said no and even struggled but he went ahead anyway. His defence? Well… in Nigeria, apparently, when a girl says no, she means yes and when she struggles, she wants it but does not want to be perceived as cheap. Court held that NO is NO. Not maybe, or perhaps or yes disguised as NO.
So, there you have it young men. Unless you and her are involved in a mutually agreed game of domination, please get her express permission to go ahead, do not think that her NO is a ploy. If she is not able to know that she is saying ‘YES’, perhaps due to in’ebriat-ion or drowsiness, you must not assume that her YES indeed a YES. And if you are into B_DS’M and you and her MUTUALLY decide to enact a scenario, be sure to have a MUTUALLY agreed upon code that means STOP! And when she says that code, STOP!