When a proposal is not a proposal.
If I had a pound for every time a guy proposed to me, I would be a millionaire. Actually, let me not lie. I did not have that much proposals. Maybe I would have like £50 if I had a £ for everytime a guy proposed to me. Not that I am so outstanding that every man wanted to marry me o. Whether I dated them or not. No. Not that. Nigerian guys just love to propose anyhow anyhow.
Heys! Fine girl! I like you. Shey you go marry me na?… Psst! Susi! Mek I marry you nau. Obviously, you won’t take those ones serious. I am talking about the ones that seemingly are serious about you. Who look like they are sane. They worm their way into your heart with marriage proposal. Then you too, you are sleeping with them. I don’t know what the young girls of nowadays read but in my own time (I can’t believe I am now old to be saying this same thing my parents said), we read Mills and Boons and in those novels. The courting no dey pass 3 months. So, we naturally transferred that to our lives. Every girl wishes to get married with 3 months of meeting the guy. Well, most girls sha.
Let me tell you my own personal story ( I know what you are thinking – this aunty has lived a lot o. Abi? lol). When I was in Nigeria, doing my NYSC, I was introduced to a guy who was based in Yankee. He would call me regularly. At work and at home. In fact, he would call me just before I left the office and would roughly time how long it would take for me to get home and as clockwork, would call me as soon as I stepped in to the house. Of course, I was smitten. He had sent his picture and he was not bad looking at all. This went on for a few months. He was meant to come to Nigeria for Christmas and the plan was that he would meet my family at the least. I was planning to come to the UK for my Masters the next year so, we reckoned that we would be able to see each other more often as soon as I moved to England. At the last minute in December, he told me that he would not be able to come to Naija for Christmas and that it would have to be Easter time. I was a tad disappointed but Easter was just another 3 or 4 months. So, we continued our love across the ocean and then Easter came and same thing again, he could not make it at the last. I just fashied him and stopped taking his calls. No time for rubbish. Anyway, I had gotten my admission to study MA in Diplomatic studies in England and I was very excited about that. I had a lot to do before coming to England so, I did not even have a second to think about him.
I came to England on a July day. I started school in September and I did not hear from this guy at all. That Christmas after I first arrived, I was homesick and wanted to go home for Christmas. Guees who I bumped to at the airport and was on the same flight with me? Yup! Yomi the Yankee based guy who had proposed the year before. We were quite surprised to see each other and anyway, he asked for forgiveness about letting me down twice. Ba kumi. I had my reservations but he tried his hardest to regain my trust. My mum had died then and he demanded to meet my parents before going back to Yankee. He was so persistent when we got to Naija! Ermm… not so speedy, Gonzales. I told him he could meet not my Dad as my dad was high up there. He was persistent. I told my grandma, Maami about him and Maami said I should let him come and visit her. So, I took him to meet Maami.
A few days later, I had a small get together for my friends and my friends were looking at my pictures when my friend, Gbemi with whom I had served NYSC together in the office saw Yomi’s picture and said ‘I know this guy Bunmi’. I said of course you know him na. He is that my Yankee guy that was toasting me when I was in Naija na. The one who proposed to you? She asked. Yes, I affirmed and also told her that he was still serious about marrying me and had gone to see my Maami. Gbemi told me that could not be true. She had met him a few days later at her friend’s engagement. He was the groom! I think we went to visit that her friend but did not say anything to her. We were just jisting with the friend and we looked at her engagement pictures. Yup! It was Yomi quite all right. Thank God say ordinary kiss sef, I no kiss am. Not that he did not try, but I just did not feel right about it.
Anyway, I called Yomi and gave him two pieces of my mind as one was not enough. He married the girl. A couple of years later, I met his senior sister in London through some friends and she told me that Yomi greatly regretted marrying that girl and had been looking for me to ask for my forgiveness. Apparently, the girl’s star was bad. She was deported on her way to America, she had to go back to Naija. Shortly after that, Yomi was also deported from America but luckily for him, he was a British citizen so, he came to London instead of Naija. The girl had a child but they separated as the girl could not get a visa to England and Yomi had regretted marrying her and did not put any efforts into sustaining the long-distance marriage. And yes, he came to see me and begged and begged and begged to be given another chance.
Of course, I did not give him that chance.