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JAMB Chronicles.


Bunmi! Gbe JAMB form e wa ka jo fili re. Bring your JAMB form so we can fill it together. Mo ti gbo sa! I have heard sir! I answered. I went to my room and quickly got the forms. This would be my second JAMB. The previous exam the last year was not released when the results came out. They just could not find my results so, I had to go to Methodist Girls High School where I have spent the past few months paying little heed to the lectures and having a whole lot of fun instead. I had no intentions of doing up6 and hoped against hope that I would be JAMBed on this JAMB. As much as I liked going to Loko, the locomotive compound where pre-colonial trains went to die to eat buka rice for breakfast, as much as I loved flouncing around as a member of the funky NFAs of the school, eating at Mama Idayat’s and laughing like hyenas when I should be singing from the Methodist hymn book at assembly under the watchful eyes of Egunleti the school principal and Aganga-Williams, the teacher with the mostest bustline, as much as I enjoyed playing truant, and having the time of my life having fun and not actually studying, I did not look forward to coming back for up6. This would be my second and by jove, last JAMB.

I went downstairs and sat down with my dad. Bunmi, he said. Choose Law for your first choice and English for your second choice. Choose Unilag, LASU and OSU for your first, second and third choices. That is where I know people in case we need to have to call in favours. Ok sa. Mo ti gbo sa. I have heard you sir I said. I dutifully filled it in and showed it to him. He looked it over and grunted his approval, nodding. Ok. Ire ati PA mi, e’e lo si JAMB office ni ola ki e lo sobmiti e. You and my PA will go to the JAMB office tomorow to submit it.

I took the form and went back to my room. And brought out my Tipex and tipexed out UNILAG, LASU and OSU. Who wants to go to Unilag where they will be told to come home for weekends or Lasu where they will be told they should go from home after all Apapa to Ojo is anti-traffic or even OSU where they will be told to come home every other weekend. No o. Abeg. The one I have done in Lagos is enough. I need my freedom. I need to get away from Lagos. As far away from Lagos as I possibly can jare. But where should I go? What to do? What to do!? Hmmm… JOS! Yeah! JOS. I heard it is serene, beautiful and cold. And there no cults there. Yes. Unijos is the one for me.

First choice : UNIJOS. Second choice : UNIJOS. Third choice : UNIJOS.

To be continued.