I have been told that I have marine spirit aka mamiwota. Which is ironic because I can’t swim. What type of mamiwota is that that can’t swim? A rubbish mamiwota that is. I have tried to learn how to swim and have had probably about… 50 classes in different London boroughs? I remember when I lived at Ealing, I did swimming lessons. I think I also did when I lived at Neasdon. I definitely did when I moved to Thamesmead. I think I will just get private tuition now. This is what happens when I am being taught to swim – the teacher tells me that I have to relax in order to be able to float. At first, it is difficult to do that so, I cling to the side of the swimming pool for dear life. The teacher coaxes me and gradually, I start relaxing and with more coaxing, I feel myself relaxing and floating so, I let go of the side of the pool and I am really relaxed and floating. Then my brain shouts ‘BUNMI! ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU ARE IN DEEP WATER AND YOU CAN’T SWIM! YOU WILL DROWN!’ And of course, I start panicking and start tensing up and start floundering and going under the water and the teacher will quickly leave the other students to come and attend to me before they have a casualty on their hands. That is what happens. Every. Single. Time!
So, isn’t it strange that I have mamiwota spirit and can’t swim? How do I know I have mamiwota tinz? Ah ha! B’on se’n bi ni niyen. That is how we ask persin. I followed my friend to a church. A popular Naija Penticostal church here in England. Her church was having a visiting minister whose anointing was deliverance. So, I went with her. So, we were asked to come out for deliverance sha. I went and the man of G’od laid his hands on me. That was how o, I started feeling one kain one kain. Anyway! when I came round some G’od knows when later, I was on the floor and my clothes were all over the place. Apparently, I started swimming immediately the man laid hands on me. I was swimming. On dry ground. So, they pronounced that I had a marine spirit. Apparently, I was an amazing swimmer. On dry ground.
So, this my mamiwota tinz, how rubbish can it be? That it swims excellently on dry ground but flounders and almost drowns in water? Should it not be the other way round biko nu?