Jopa's person, Chi, would like advice from fellow Jopa's people. Kindly advice her without insulting…
Hello Jopaspeople! Lol. I quite like that identification jare. I hope you like it too. So, I get a lot of people asking for advice, either in a personal category or from my friends. Some people asked Jopaspeople to advice them but I was not sure if we should do that. But by popular demand, we will be advising people here.
Hear Jopasperson Joy’s story and advice her please.
I met my ex husband when I was in my final year in school, he came for his transcripts cos he finished from the same school a year before I got in. I was 20 years old then. We had a distant relationship as he was working in Lagos then while I was in school. I got into another relationship in school then and the guy knew about ex-hubby and always made a joke about stealing me away from him. We got intimate along the line. I didn’t see ex-hubby until three months after we started dating when I went to see him in Lagos and we also got intimate. I went back to school and the following month, I found out that I was pregnant. I didn’t have doubts about the paternity of my baby till I told my school boyfriend that I couldn’t date him anymore and that I was pregnant for ex-hubby. He pleaded and tried to convince me that the baby is his but then I was madly in love with ex-hubby, so nothing he said made sense to me. I had my traditional wedding with ex-hubby before I had my baby. Ex-hubby’s real character started to show after I had the baby, I don’t even want to recount all that I faced. The then school boyfriend resurfaced and started showering myself and my baby love, attention and financial help. I soon started sleeping with him again cos ex hubby wouldn’t even touch me for months. At a point, I cut all contact with school boyfriend again cos I felt he was the one drawing my mind away from my marriage, but things only got worse. I started to suffer from severe migraine and depression, Bell’s palsy started to knock on the door, so I summoned courage and left my marriage. School boyfriend found a way to reach out to me again and I just fell into his arms. He’s been the reason why I’ve been financially at peace since I left my marriage. He doesn’t give me too much, 5k, 3k, like that, cos he isn’t so buoyant but his efforts are enough. My son and I are comfortable. We talked about doing a DNA test but it’s very expensive so he just said we should skip it and that he’ll always be there for us. The last time we went to pay him a visit, my son was choking on his food and he collected some of the food from my baby’s mouth and ate it straight. I’ve never had anyone love my son like that. He doesn’t talk to me about marriage or future talks or anything though I’m not ready for any of that yet. I know I’m not supposed to be sleeping with him but how do I deny myself of such affection when I am so vulnerable right now?! Even when the future is unknown, this present gives me peace. I can’t even imagine another man on top of me, I can’t imagine another man love my son like this. I need help, I dunno what to do with my life.
Thanks very much ma
N.B. After my final exams, I needed to pay up the school fees I was owing, ex-hubby showed no concern so I had to defer my admission, when I couldn’t defer anymore, it was school boyfriend that paid for me. This is the reason why I’ll just be going for my NYSC this February /march. I’m not a lazy woman. Even the little I get from school boyfriend now, I use to buy slippers and sandals to resell, so I don’t wear him out with requests.
Hmmm… is he married sis?
No, he’s not