Embarrassment Stories

Embarrasing stories

Let’s talk about embarrassing stories. I will go first. A few years ago, before fibroids and motherhood, wrecked my ‘sepesepe’ shape, I used to like to wear figure hugging clothes to emphasise my big ikebe and my small(ish) waist. On this day, I had worn tight Capri pants. And a cropped top, with high heels. I was particularly feeling myself in those Capri pants. I had bought them at the Saturday Finsbury Park market. I wonder if that market still exists but in those days, that market was the place for funky clothes. So, I was feeling myself. I lived at Thamesmead then and I got on the train to get down at Abbey Wood. And another thing – in those days, I had a very confident walk. I used to swing my hips from side to side then. So, I got down from the train and was walking confidently, swinging my hips. Unbeknownst to me, my Capri pants had ripped from the waist down.And I was wearing Gstrings as I usually did. And I did not know, did not feel the breeze against my bare chicks.

As I was walking down, I did not notice that people were lining up behind me and no one was overtaking my walk. I kept doing my confident walk. Then a (Hausa) guy walks up behind him. I turned to give him a look of ‘don’t even think of toasting me, I am not interested’. And that was when I noticed the long queue of people sniggering behind me. The guy then continues walking very close behind me and told me that he would walk me home. He told me that he had gotten down at the last carriage of the train and was wondering why people were queueing behind me and walking slowly instead walking fast by me. He then decided to walk up and see why people were walking behind me, slowly, and that was when he saw my yansh outside and the Oyinbo walking behind me and sniggering, doing ‘follow the leader’.

I lived very far from the station so, we had to go to my friend’s place instead. I could have died of embarrassment when I got to my friend Amaka’s place and looked at the damage in the mirror. Amaka actually cried for me to think that my whole yansh had been out for the whole world see.

Another one – this one happened in Uni. If you were in Uni Jos in the 80s, you would know that the area field called bus park was where students hung out in between lectures. That is where the cool kids hung out anyway. If you wanted to be noticed, all you had to do was walk across the bus park. Not beside o. Across. That fateful (or faithful day as my peeps call it), I had just arrived from London for Summer and I wanted the whole school to see me in my new baffs. In particular, I wanted Foli, the guy I had a serious crush to see me in my new baffs. So, I walked across. In my mini skirt and high heels. Now that was not a usual outfit o. My usual outfits were flat court shoes or low heeled shoes to cope with the rigours of lectures. As I was walking across the bus park, feeling all eyes on me, suddenly, I was on the floor. Just like that. I was too emabbaressed to walk. I saw from the corners of my eyes people laughing. People always laugh when people fall don’t they? I don’t know why we were created that way. I do it too so, I don’t blame them. Any, I decided to pretend that I fell because I had lost consciousness. So, I lay still still on the ground. Even though my skirt was askew, I lay there like that. With a hint of my ‘paent’ showing and more of the same threatening to show with the way the wind was blowing my skirt around. I knew that if I should try to cover my ‘paent’, my cover would be blown.

So, I lay still on the ground, with a hint of my ‘paent’ showing, till the laughter gradually stopped, to be replaced by people rushing to my aid and getting me into a taxi and taking my room in the hostel. Well, they were talking about taking me to the school’s health centre when I started slowly regained consciousness. My fellow Josites were just too relieved too see that I was ok to laugh at me. So, next time you fall in public and are too embarrassed to get up. Don’t get up. Feign unconsciousness and see or feel the mirth turn to concern for you.

So, what is yours? Leave yours as a comment. Any embarrassing post we post will get N1K airtime. So, that means you will leave your mobile number for us to text the top up code to. Your phone number and network please.

This Post Has 33 Comments

  1. I remember when I was in secondary school I have a female friend I really like, and I made up my mind to tell her I love her.
    But the problem I have is that I didn’t know how to face her to tell her. So, I did something
    I wrote letter and sent it to her but I made a mistake when I want to give her letter.

    Instead to confront her, I went to her class during break to put the letter into her bag not known that some crazy guy are watching me.
    So immediately I leave her class those guys went to her bag and picked the letter. This guys exposed the letter to the whole class. I was ashamed but I apology in assembly, coz principal heard about it.

    If not because I was among prefect it would have been more than that.

    But you know what? This lady agreed latter, even we are still in relationship now. But I will never forget the embarrassed I got there.

    Don’t know if I qualify, this is my number 08163774448

    Thanks ma

  2. Embarrassing moments! Hmmn, I have them plenty oooo… lol

    It was my first time both outside the country and on an aeroplane. I was to attend a conference with a mentor of mine but she called the travel agency to cancel her itinerary a day before our departure but mine was cancelled too. I didn’t know until I got to the airport, so they had to rebook me on the next available flight, and the only available seat was in the Business class wing, so I flew Business class and got to enjoy a very nice lunch (some fluffy snacks and some other things I can’t put a name to). But I flew Economy class while returning and I didn’t know the food is not the same as in the Business class. I’m a very bold and outspoken person, so while the flight hostess were handing out the lunch but kept pushing the fluffy things to the Business wing, I was wondering what’s happening. ……. Instead of me to keep quiet and gladly accept what was handed to me, I just raised my voice and adjusted my glasses to ask the hostess why our lunch in the Economy class is different, why can’t I have something similar to what I had a week earlier, bla bla bla…. you should have seen the way everyone turned and were looking at me, and my seat was by the middle passage way side, so everyone could have a good look at me…… by the time the hostess took her time to answer my questions after asking if that was my first time on an airplane, it was as if the plane should just do an emergency kiakia landing, mehhhn I really fall my hand that day no be small…. I bent my head till I checked out of MMA that day… lol

  3. What readily comes to mind that was most embarrassing for me was the day I wore this particular shoe that had not worn in years to the office.
    I left for court & after my matter was attended to I bowed & decided to catwalk out of the courtroom but my shoe decided to punish me for abandonment. The heels removed & only God saved me from falling & creating a huge scene in the courtroom. It was one of the people waiting for their matter to be called sitting closeby that help me pick the falling heels, I practically ran out of court.
    My office was within walking distance if I walk as the road is a one way road, if I want a bike or any other form of transport I have to walk round the street to get it. Mehn! I decided to walk quickly to the office but as short as the distance was, it was the longest walk of shame I’ve ever taken. I cried my eyes out on getting to the office as I know I’ll be back to the same court at the next adjourned date didn’t comfort me at all.

  4. My own experience was while I was at an higher institution, I was always the principled lady, I don’t date lazy guys and I don’t date guys dat can’t speak good English.
    In my final year I really wanted to impress my course mates that I could actually be outgoing definite being a reserved person.
    That was how I met a good looking guy and I didn’t bother to check his vocabulary or his tenses, I assumed since he is a graduate that was fine for me
    One particular night he followed me to my hostel and my roommate was around. I wanted to show off his car actually
    He was asked to introduce himself and since people know that I speak good English they didn’t expect less from any guy I would date
    That was when Bobo gave out “tabons” and said I am a he, before nkan. She see me today referring to having seen my roommate in the market earlier on. So many rubbish he spoke, that I had to drag him out since he didn’t realised he was embarrassing me.
    The relationship broke then, but I never forgot how embarrassed I was.
    My roommate tormented me with that for the whole year. I knew better than to pose with a guy.

  5. Lol. Everywhere I’ve been to or stayed, I’ve always been commented on being so hardworking graduating early from university.
    So during my NYSC days in the east, a church provided accommodation for me. Of course I attended the church’s services as often as I could.
    This fateful day, the pastor was preaching on how parents should bring up their kids well and so on so that they’ll excel early and be good ambassadors…you know the drill.
    That’s how pastor just said “like our brother Bayo that did well..and asked with the mic..you came out with a first class yea? Fear started gripping me..I nodded in the negative. He went on…a 2.1? I nodded in the negative again..
    I really can’t remember how that sermon ended.
    I sha felt bad.

  6. Debola please comment with the mobile number you want to have the airtime sent to. Don’t worry, it will not be published

  7. 😂😂😂, I have a lot of embarrassing moments. Let me start with the last one. Some months back I was low on cash and I needed to do a trip- Lagos to Abuja. I checked the flight tickets 40k and beyond 🙄, my cousin and a friend talked me into going by road 😩, that it’s cheaper ( please never ever resort to this option)

    So I bought an online ticket from God is good motors, 7am take off. Now, when I’m traveling I seldom eat or even drink water *i don’t want to be peeing at every stop *. Anyway, before we got to out of Lagos, we noticed the Driver had an issue with one of his tyres.

    It became too many stops to fix tyre, instead of taking the Ibadan route, we saw ourselves on Lagos Benin Expressway. 4pm we where not at Auchi yet , 7pm we were just about approaching Okene , I was already tired, restless and uncomfortable, then boom I noticed a rumbling in my stomach.

    We were all upset with the Driver for putting a bad vehicle on the road and taking us through a longer route. It’s also customary for them to stop at Lokoja , but because of the angry passengers and time driver didn’t stop anymore. My rumbling had increased and I had started sweating and shifting my bum uncomfortably on my seat.

    At 8:30 pm, not even sure where we were, because I could only see us surrounded by bushes and soldiers checkpoint. I screamed out to d Driver ” please I’m pressed , I need to get down after the checkpoint” . It took the passengers to intervene before driver stopped. Yours Sincerely couldn’t go into the bush, Right behind the car by the road she started pooing 😩😩🙈🙈. The way this poo was coming out ehn , you will think I ate a combination of moi moi, pepper soup, wine, bushmeat all in one meal. I couldn’t be bothered then that people in cars passing by will see my bum, but thank God it was dark already.

  8. This my embarassing moment i never prayed for such again very funny and embarrassing!It happen to me and my girl friend when we ask to hook up in oshodi just to eat and some cups of wine! so enter the eatery in Oshodi and we order and they serve us so its time to pay and we have to pay before you eat!thats why i cant find my wallet in my pocket its very shameful and embarrassing and my girlfriend didnt even come along with her purse to foot the bills!i was furiously sweating inside Ac that evening if not for the life of a young man that i explain to! then he pay my bills and i was very happy,To cut the story short is all those jobless thug that remove my wallet in oshodi oke when i was coming from anthony side! it was painful and embarrassing! The man even give me money to go back home its Embarassing and a testmony too!lol 08062411898 mtn

  9. I have laughed tire o. Mine was second week in December 2016,i was on my way to work,with my lovely black gown,and my shoe and bag to match,infact d bag is a 2 in 1 bag,i mean with a purse in it,so I got into the cab,and said AYA(Abuja) and when the driver was approaching AYA,i reminded him,brought out my purse,the design and everything made d woman sitting next to me,give me a second look,lo and behold there was no money,not even 5# in my purse,i became shocked,then I searched if I could just stumble on a hundred naira note in the inner purse of the main bag but it was gbagan! I had bought something on my way from church d previous night and kept the change in the bag I took to church,i had believed I transferred the change to the purse,the moment I remembered I wished it was a dream. Thanks to another passenger who payed for me,the woman beside me gave me that stern look like,so all these dressing,you can’t pay your tfare. Since then I do a double check o!

  10. I was seriously crushing on a guy called Jude in the year 2002, I was still a virgin. One day I was going to service and he offered to give me a lift. His sister sat at the back of the car. He told me to use the seat belt, I did not know how to use the seat belt, I was looking at him, did not know how to use it. He told me severally I could not use it, the sister also told me thinking I did not hear her brother that I should use the seat belt. All of a sudden they said it together ‘ Use seat belt na’ then the sister said as big as you are you don’t know how to use seat belt? I started crying. The guy was confused while the sister was laughing hysterically. My number is 09024759135, I use Airtel. Thank you very much

  11. In life one must face embarrassing moments, some leave us with scars while some leave us with smiles. All in all, It’s our memory,we will keep them.

    So far so good my most embarrassing moment was the day I travelled from Onitsha to Benue state. That’s how I woke up, went to the park and booked my ticket, I chose a seat at the back. Little did I know that my village god(preferable) had decided to put sand in my garri.

    Our bus left at about 8.AM, it was all smooth, I was enjoying my music and peanut I bought. Suddenly, the village masters started beating drum in my tommy , I thought it was a child’s play until I started feeling as if the shit is dropping already.

    I was so ashamed to tell the driver to stop so I can ease myself, how can I? When fine fine babes full bus? I was enduring it, thoughts running in my head, “abeg who did I offend”?
    It was unbearable so I decided to voice out, “driver abeg shit dey worry me ooo”, he didn’t reply but I have decided to face my village lords squarely, I screamed again,” driver you want make I shit for bus?, abeg park make I shit.” Other passengers were murmuring but my ear was blocked then. The driver stopped , I went down and released the bomb.
    After the brief relieve I was embarrassed that I wished I could teleport to Benue, din’t know how to face those fine girls.

    To cut the story short, as we continued our journey the party in my tummy increased, it was as if the village lords went to invite more hands. I was lucky this second time because Custom officers had to stop us so I ran to the bush immediately to battle my village calling .

    When I thought the battle was over, I never knew they had a backup plans, they went and called a new DJ I guess and the party reached climax. “What do I do now”? Was all in my mind, after the Custom’s delay I dare not ask the driver to stop else I will be greeted with insults. So I endured until I couldn’t , that was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. Lo and behold , a young cute guy defecate in the bus, I wished the ground could open so I disappear, I was embarrassed to the last.

    Finally , I was able to sit on it, everyone was complaining of foul smell but I didn’t talk. Thank God we got to Benue around 2pm and I waited for everyone to alight , I alighted and took a cab for the first time in my life. When I got home I didn’t greet anyone, in fact I left my bag at the gate rushed to the restroom .

  12. Just one that readily comes to mind. Years ago, i formed this habit of going late to church. Service starts by 8am but i get there between 9-9. 30am. On this day, i was late as usual and wore a high heeled shoes which was also constituting nuisance with the noise coming from the heels, this mad me slow my pace so as to reduce the noise cos service was ongoing, Pastor was preaching so everywhere was so quiet.
    As i was about stepping onto a lower platform, i Lost my steps!! Trying not to fall down completely, i started staggering into the chairs, as in I was practically scattering the chairs and making so much noise, after about a minute or so, i stopped. Of course i ended up falling. 😀😀😀 my noise making shoe, one was at a corner whilr my handbag was somewhere else, it was a Usher that came to my aid nd helped with my things. At that moment, i was sweating, the shame was just to much! And then I heard the Pastor say, its alright with the Sister, lets continue with the word. Chai, apparently, he stopped preaching when he heard The commotion.

    After the service, people who saw me started the sorry anthem, i felt more embarrassed. on our way home(Had this Lady friend that we go home together every Sunday) My Lady friend started by saying “something happened today in Church, someone fell under the annointing while the Pastor was preaching, there was so much commotion, couldn’t catch a glimpse as i was in the front seat” In annoyance, i was like its me joor, I fell! Chai this Lady laughed so hard that she had to pack her car so we don’t have an accident. Poor me. To think that it was a Christ Embassy Church. Well, after the incident, she started refering to me as “Great was thy fall”

  13. My embarrassing story happened in Ikorodu market.There’s a particular section of the market devoted to palm oil sellers back then.I went to visit my elder sis and we went shopping for foodstuffs. I had just finished school then and I was feeling myself,I went dressed to the nines in heels too.
    We got to the palm oil sellers, the soil was sticky with palm oil and soapy water. .na so I slipped in my heels and fell into a basin of palm oil with it splashing everywhere, I just did my hair and I was a sight to behold,I couldn’t go with my sister in her car,I took a bike home.

  14. I can vividly recall 2 of those days…
    the first happened to be when I was in ss2 in my government owned secondary school… my best friend then happened to be the toilet prefect,she was the one in charge of holding the keys to the toilet.At a time we had a misunderstanding and were no longer talking. On a beautiful Thursday afternoon, I became so pressed l,I needed to defecate but my ego wouldn’t let me go and ask for the key so I kept grinding the thing in the seat hoping to release it when I get home,everyone kept moving freely in the class but I couldn’t even smile talk less of move. At a point it dawned on me that the thing wasn’t going to wait for me till I get home so I managed to move outta class and went to the toilet,on getting there,I sent a junior student to collect key for me from her without mentioning my name. It took her a long while before she returned, I couldn’t hold it any longer so I defecated on my body …… it was really embarrassing for me because the junior student came with the key and about 3 other juniors that needed d to use the toilet and everywhere kept stinking from the particular corner I was standing…. To crown my embarrassment with tears was when one of our wicked teachers came to the toilet to pursue everyone to the classroom…..*Jeez*I didn’t just know how to explain myself I was just crying… but thank God one of the junior students was able to tell the man what had happened to me so he told d girl to go get my bag from the classroom and I was excused from school….. I couldn’t even go to school the following day

  15. Choi.. mine is so so embarrassing o. I joined a bank in 2007.prior to that time I never had any bank account (you can imagine, I was 21).So,we went through a training and we were paid our weekly allowance an account was opened for that. I needed to withdraw, instead of me to ask how it runs, I assumed there should not be big deal so I went to a branch of the bank and met with the teller,i told her I want my money. Lol. The guy said I should go and write it,humm! I just tore a paper and wrote the amount I needed and gave him..and all of them were laughing so hard, I felt so bad like what has happened? The guy now gave me a slip and put me through! AZ in, I was well dressed,looked so good and that!!!! Till I left I could not even look at their faces..

  16. In life one must face emberassing moments, some leave us with scars while some leave us with smiles. All in all, It’s our memorymemory we will keep them.

    So far so good my most embarrassing moment was the day I teavelled from Onitsha to Benue state. That’s how I woke up, went to the park and booked my ticket, I chose a seat at the back. Little did I know that my village people had decided to put sand in my garri.

    Our bus left as about 8.AM, it was all smooth, I was enjoying my music and peanut I bought. Suddenly, the village masters started beating drum in my tommy , I thought it was a child’s play until I started feeling as if the shit is dropping already.

    I was so ashamed to tell the driver to stop so I can ease myself, how can I? When fine fine babes full bus? I was enduring it, thoughts running in my head, “abeg who did I ofoffend”?
    It was unbearable so I decided to voice out, “driver abeg shit the worry me ooo”, he didn’t reply but I have decided to face my village lords squarely, I screamed again, ” driver you want make I shit for bus?, abeg park make I shit.” Other passengers were mourmoring but my ear don block then. The driver stopped , I went down and released the bomb.
    After the brief relieve I was embarrassed that I wished I could teleport to Benue so i could affird not going with the bus , don’t know how to face those fine girls.

    To cut the story short, as we continued our journey the party in my tommytommy increased by times 10, it was as if the village lords went to invite more hands. I was lucky this second time because Customs officers had to stop us so a ran to the bush immediately to battle my village calling .

    When I thought the battle was over, I never knew they had a backup plans, they went and called a new DJ I guess and the party reached climax. “What do I do now”? Was all in my mind, after the Customs delay I dare not ask the driver to stop else I will be greeted with insults. So I endured until I couldn’t , that was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. Lo and behold , a young cute guy defecated in the bus, I wished the ground could open so I disappear, I was embarrassed to the last.

    Finally , I was able to sit on it, everyone were complaining of fowl smell but I didn’t talk. Thank God we got to Benue around 2pm and I waited for everyone to alight , I alighted and took a cab for the first time in my life. When I got home I didn’t greet anyone, in fact I left my bag at the gate rushed to the restroom .

  17. An embarrassing moment I once had happened about 7years ago . There was this toaster i had in my area who was not my spec..lol . But he kept pestering me for a date until i finally agreed to go on a date with him. On the agreed day, we met at a particular junction and he said he just wanted us to sit by the lagoon side and talk. I said ok. Bros decided to get us suya. We walked up to the aboki selling suya and he asked the aboki for “tasting” aboki gave him a piece of meat, which went right into his mouth with the speed of lightening. He made a dis-satisfied face and the aboki cut him another juicy part of the meat which he swallowed like a hungry lion. He then went ahead to ask the aboki for tasting on my behalf, this time the aboki grudgingly obliged him, and cut me a piece which i shamedfacedly took. Then aboki asked him how much suya he wanted to buy, I was expecting to hear N1k or N1,500. Only to hear this broda thunderously say N50! I don’t know if it was the piteous look the three ‘abokis’ gave to me or the meagre sum of N50 suya after tasting suya worth of N100 that made me feel so ashamed.

  18. One fateful evening a few years ago, my mum sent me on an errand to buy something.
    So I carried our neighbour’s six month old son and left the house. I was wearing a loose fitting tank top without any bra cos my bust was not really big. To get to my destination, I had to pass through one Hausa colony like that.
    As I was going, I noticed that some men were staring at me and saying ‘auzubilai’… I briefly wondered what was going on but as nobody said Anything I continued. That was how one woman just told me that the my left breast was open
    Fada lawd…. I was shocked, mortified, shame filled and I died and resurrected.
    Apparently the baby used his hand to open the tank top since it was loose fitting and me I did not know.
    I mean,I still don’t understand how I did not feel the breeze on my bare breast.
    I still cringe any time I remember.
    That was the last time I passed through that place again.

  19. Hahahahahahah I almost died reading this, My heart is beating fast coz of laughter. No wonder I love your posts “greatest Josites”.

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