To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
To eat that delicious food or not? If you like yourself, you better don’t. Usually, I had no problem saying no. I grew up with my Grandma, Maami and she was a great caterer. So, there was no food that anyone could offer me outside that could compare with Maami’s. But this day, I went with my Mum to visit an aunt, Mummy Bro Yomi, Wahab Folawiyo’s wife (yes, I am famzing. I am shameless like that) and she was quite sophisticated, Mrs Folawiyo.
I can’t remember what she offered me but I think it would have been something sophisticated and which my Maami did not do at home. Probably something like jelly and ice cream or marble cake. I so desperately wanted to eat it but knew I would get into trouble eating it so, I thought I would guilt trip my mum into letting me eat it. I said ‘mo fe je ma but Mummy ma na mi ti’n ba dele. Won ti ni ki’n ma ma jeun ti a ba lo ki eiyan – I want to eat it ma but Mummy will beat me when I get home. She has told me not to eat when we go to visit people.
Aunty then got upset that I was not eating at hers. She was upset with my mum for not bringing me up to know that she, Aunty was family and so diafor, hers was one of the few places I should be able to eat. My mum was embarrassed and said, Ah, Bunmi jeun. Mummy ni Aunty shogbo? Bunmi, eat, Aunty is Mummy do you hear. Ti Aunty ba fun e ni ounje, ki o ma je sogbo? If Aunty gives you food, eat it do you hear?
So, I ate the food. Big mistake.
Apparently there was a memo that I had missed. It was an addendum to the original memo of do not eat outside. Apparently, this addendum said something ‘ DON’T EAT FOOD OUTSIDE EVEN WHEN YOUR MUM SAYS YOU SHOULD EAT IT! IT IS A TRICK AND YOU WILL BE BEATEN FOR BEING A WOMBILIKI WOMBIA -GLUTTON WHEN YOU GET HOME’
So, I did not get that addendum. And as you know, ignorance is no excuse in law.
Ps… if anyone is in contact with Tunde Folawiyo or Yomi Folawiyo, please ep me tell them that their ‘aburo’ is looking for them. Let them holler at me. Lol.